It Takes a Congregation to Raise a Parent

Written By Jay Jacobs

Dear Parent Helpers:

I had great parents. I’m not sure they started out that way, but as the youngest of five, by the time I came along they’d had plenty of opportunities to work the kinks out of their model; and with four relatively well-adjusted older siblings, they figured if in some way they failed with me, their average was still pretty good. There were two overlapping foci in the ellipses of our upbringing. One was the family dinner table where, following the meal, my father read from the Bible and one of us would read the prayer requests from church and offer prayer. The other focus of our attention was, of course, church. My parents were heavily involved. They had met in the choir, both taught Sunday school for many years, and my father attended the weekly Saturday morning men’s study group and prayer meeting; the Kroghs were at the church pretty much every time it was unlocked.

But the strength of my mom and dad’s parenting was not cult-like installation of religious values; it was a dedication to community. They recognized how parenting isn’t an individualized or even a mixed-doubles activity. Good parenting requires teamwork, and the network of church relationships created a phalanx of like-minded reinforcement. Church youth group was far more than a series of safe activities for hormone-juiced teenagers; it was a time when parents could strategize and encourage one another while the kids were otherwise occupied. During youth group many parents would go out for dinner or coffee and decompress.

Youth group was also a place where kids could interact with attentive adults who were not their parents. To be taken seriously by adults who had no obligation to care but still gave their time and energy to our social and spiritual formation was a powerful experience. To this day I can recall great conversations I had with youth advisors dedicated to my growth and maturity. It wasn’t the content that mattered; it was the connection.

This past week FPCLG received the resignation of Youth Director Lisa Nadle. After eight years of TUXIS nights and mission trips, Lisa is pursuing some new professional opportunities. Her leadership and dedication will be missed, but our youth programming will continue. So, this Monday, I’m asking you to muse. The strength of our TUXIS group and youth ministry does not rest on the shoulders of an individual staff member; it is a shared project. Is it possible that you have something to offer our teens? Are you being called to assist parents with the awesome task of growing youth into adults who are Christian and strong? Perhaps, as part of this year’s pledging process, you may be committing more than financial support...perhaps your pledge will involve time and attention to our community of faith. Our parents need you.

What matters isn't those who planted or watered, but God who made the plants grow. Those who plant are just as important as those who water. (1 Corinthians 3.7-8)

Extremely grateful that my parents had help, I remain,

With Love,
Jonathan Krogh
Your Pastor

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Jay Jacobs
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