Don't Know What to Say?

Written By Jonathan Krogh

Dear Companions in Care:

Over the past week several people have expressed their condolences, adding some expression of not knowing what to say. From my perspective that’s more than okay, because in some ways words give us a way to carry things around. When something is emotionally too big, or too heavy, or too messy to contain, our verbal boxes split wide open to reveal their unspeakable content, things that just are not easy to carry. Such is the case with loss, love, deep pain and euphoric joy.

The Apostle Paul alluded to the limitation of language, referring to “wordless groans” in the Spirit’s intercession on our behalf (Romans 8.26). What’s annoying isn’t those who confess their inadequacy; it’s those who speak with full confidence, as if in their pronouncements of divine wisdom, eternal bliss and heavenly glory can lighten the labor of loss, pain and ambiguity. Their certainty suggests that the unpleasant residue of mortality can be whisked away like so many crumbs from the couch after a party. They encourage others to move on, get over it or see the big picture because they have no stomach for the hearts of others.

It may seem ironic that your pastor laments the limitation of words to articulate life’s deepest mysteries—I do, after all, make my living by talking about the unspeakable. But after all these years, I’ve resigned myself to never preaching the perfect sermon or writing the definitive essay. Turns out my job security depends on never getting it completely right. That’s why we keep coming back—because while words may not work wonders, our being present for one another through all of life’s confusions does wonderful work.

Grateful for your inarticulate hearts, I remain,

With Love,  
Jonathan Krogh
Your Pastor   

Archive Block
The page connected to this block was deleted. Double-click here to select a different page, or check the recycle bin for the deleted page. Learn more
Jonathan Krogh
Previous

Prayer for the Angry
Next

A Good Friday Meditation